I had a dream last night where someone told me that there was a love spell on me. I believe it. I put two and two together because an ex friend had told me, when we were friends, that he did tarot online. It was also no secret that he had a huge crush on me and often told me he loved me. While it's going to be difficult to confront him about this, it got me thinking about the time I used witchcraft and spells.
I was about 12 when the movie, "The Craft," came out. It's about 4 teenage witches and the trouble that ensues after they decide to invoke the spirits and get revenge on the people who've made them upset. After this movie, I went to a store in Berkeley and bought my first witchcraft book. It seemed pretty good for my first book-- lots of traditions, chants, celebrating of certain saint days, etc. I remember the bookstore owner saying something to the effect that witchcraft books have been flying off the shelves because of the movie. My neighbor, Diana, her cousin, Sarah, and I all tried some things like candle magic, burning things to see what happens (hair of people we don't like, cloth of people we don't like, paper with the names of the people who made us upset, etc). We liked to think we were very powerful witches.
I had lent my book out a few times. The two people said it was weak and that it shouldn't be lent out. I'm glad it didn't go farther than that.
What I remembered most of all were two spells. There was one for love and there was one for silence. The one for love was used mostly to attract my ex who I thought was the end all and be all. But upon reflection, he may have liked me but he didn't pine for me the way that he pined for two girls in his life. I may have just been someone cool to be around because we liked each other.
The other one was for silence. I knew some people who were gossips and they were mean. They would constantly say things and start rumors just to get people upset. I put a few silencing spells on them. But for the most part, they worked on me. I spent many years quiet, depressed. I blame myself for those spells and their consequences.
While I did start at a young age and had the potential to become a strong witch, I knew that I didn't want to be in that world. It was nice to dapple in it. I definitely have a respect for it.
Just a few years ago, one of my psychic friends came to me and asked me if I put a spell on him. While occasionally, I had a crush on him, it wasn't strong enough to even think of a spell to put on him. I relayed the story about my spellcasting and he knew it was true. It turns out, it was one of my close psychic friends who was going through a nasty divorce-- she put the spell on him. I still harbor some resentment against her from what she did. But also, I knew (and didn't tell her) that she was going to have a miscarriage because she had messed around with spells. She text messaged me throughout the whole ordeal of the miscarriage. She was looking forward to this child and was devastated when she had a miscarriage. I knew I wasn't to blame because I had asked others if they had visioned the same thing and they knew my reasoning for not telling her. Spells have too many consequences at my age or her age.
I think witchcraft is something to try when a person is young and can do stupid stuff. It seems like the consequences are minimal. But as a person ages and they want to try to get into spells or withcraft, it's an energy that has to be respected. If not, it can have some major consquences. I don't know what is going to happen to my friend but he's messed with some things that are going to cause major problems in his future. He's gotten things off balance and it might be a steep price to restore balance.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sexuality and Societal Messages
After reading The Heart and Soul of Sex by Gina Ogden I've been open to new ideas about what is considered sexuality and the messages media passes along. Traditional sexuality focuses on performance. It's about blood flow, physical responses, and orgasm. It also considered to be between only a man and woman and most likely only in missionary position after marriage. This seems like a narrow definition.
But there are a lot more things to consider about sexuality, such as emotional aspects, our thoughts and values about sex, spiritual aspects and I'm not just talking about what religion tells people about sex but also the difference between making love and having sex. There is the physical side but it goes along with the other three areas. Also, there are many ways to be sexual and with whomever you choose. This is all what Ogden, a sex therapist, addresses in this book.
I started noticing little things here and there about what our culture thinks sex is. One incident that I talked about with some coworkers was that of a patient. This patient is uncomfortable with his sexuality and wants to not be gay. He was uncomfortable being around men. Basically, his family said that he could not be gay because he would go to Hell. He does have obsessive thoughts and wants to be perfect. Given that he has these messages to not be gay and he wants to be perfect, he has a great amount of anxiety about who he is. This was one incident I had noticed.
Then, I saw the video for "Rude Boy." I had not heard this song before and was quite shocked by the message. It was another message of focusing on the physical aspect of sex. The song has lyrics about a man whose considered a "rude boy" and the female singer asking if he can get an erection and if he's "big enough." She repeats "Take it," which Anna Marie on Feministing.com noted relates to possible sexual violence and devalues the experiences of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence that men have to endured.
"Can you get it up?" is not a new message. It has previously been seen in advertisements for Viagra. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue, however, sometimes it seems that the emotional aspect of sex has been ignored because there's a pill to increase blood flow. The pill doesn't care if the man has a caring partner where there is open communication. Nor does this pill care if there's stress in the man or couple's lives. It's simple increases blood flow so he can maintain an erection. Some messages from society ignore the emotional aspect of sex, focusing only on the physical aspects.
It's a good idea to take into account that not all of the messages about sex are the ones we have to accept. Everyone has their own values and morals. If the traditional way of looking at sex is how the one that a person wants to adopt and it fits their life, then what's the harm? However, there are people who are harmed by these values as their own, as we've seen with the guy who was uncomfortable with his sexual orientation, then a person might want to reconsider their morals and values about sex.
But there are a lot more things to consider about sexuality, such as emotional aspects, our thoughts and values about sex, spiritual aspects and I'm not just talking about what religion tells people about sex but also the difference between making love and having sex. There is the physical side but it goes along with the other three areas. Also, there are many ways to be sexual and with whomever you choose. This is all what Ogden, a sex therapist, addresses in this book.
I started noticing little things here and there about what our culture thinks sex is. One incident that I talked about with some coworkers was that of a patient. This patient is uncomfortable with his sexuality and wants to not be gay. He was uncomfortable being around men. Basically, his family said that he could not be gay because he would go to Hell. He does have obsessive thoughts and wants to be perfect. Given that he has these messages to not be gay and he wants to be perfect, he has a great amount of anxiety about who he is. This was one incident I had noticed.
Then, I saw the video for "Rude Boy." I had not heard this song before and was quite shocked by the message. It was another message of focusing on the physical aspect of sex. The song has lyrics about a man whose considered a "rude boy" and the female singer asking if he can get an erection and if he's "big enough." She repeats "Take it," which Anna Marie on Feministing.com noted relates to possible sexual violence and devalues the experiences of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence that men have to endured.
"Can you get it up?" is not a new message. It has previously been seen in advertisements for Viagra. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue, however, sometimes it seems that the emotional aspect of sex has been ignored because there's a pill to increase blood flow. The pill doesn't care if the man has a caring partner where there is open communication. Nor does this pill care if there's stress in the man or couple's lives. It's simple increases blood flow so he can maintain an erection. Some messages from society ignore the emotional aspect of sex, focusing only on the physical aspects.
It's a good idea to take into account that not all of the messages about sex are the ones we have to accept. Everyone has their own values and morals. If the traditional way of looking at sex is how the one that a person wants to adopt and it fits their life, then what's the harm? However, there are people who are harmed by these values as their own, as we've seen with the guy who was uncomfortable with his sexual orientation, then a person might want to reconsider their morals and values about sex.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
How I keep a Dream Journal
I remember my dreams and sometimes post snipets of them on facebook as my status. Most people wonder what I was on or what I have eaten before bed. The truth is that I remember my dreams because I've kept a dream journal for the past few years (maybe 4 or 5). There are many ways to keep dream journals. This is the way I do it.
I have a journal next to my bed. It has my regular journal as well as my dream journal on loose pages. I use printer paper (or unline paper). I fold it into threes so that I can write on two thirds and the last third is for comments, drawings, maps, etc. I find maps most amusing because sometimes, the maps are really of places I frequent every day but the symbols and the way it's presented to me are completely different. When I do this, I think I'm genius. It's like decoding a very difficult code and finding it's genius in it's simplicity.
I wake up a little early so that I can write any dreams down. Sometimes it takes a while to remember them. Sometimes I write down the little feelings I have about what I may have dreamt about (this is where I suggest most people begin).
All advice about writing dreams mentions-- write it down as soon as you wake up. Sometimes, in a hurry, I'll write little notes to come back to later. Of course, even if I don't come back to it, I capture the main events.
As time goes on, you'll remember your dreams more often. Then, you can start experimenting.
When I first started keeping a journal, I had a check list of different themes that had come up in my dreams-- such as my dad, my school, my childhood home, my boyfriend, etc. This way, if they came up, I'd just check it off. I also used to write themes on the third colum but I grew bored of that. Now, I mostly use it for notes like things I was thinking about that might have been a reason why I had this person or this happen in my dream. Sometimes I add details that I remembered later on.
There are two things I do on occasion that are fun with dreams:
1. Write down a question before going to bed (this may be about something about your future) and in the morning, write down the dream.
When I was thinking about going to grad school, I wrote down the question, "What's my next step?" The dream was that I was on a train to New Haven. This was so clear that I knew that I had to follow it. I moved from California to Connecticut to attend graduate school.
2. Test out lucidity. There's a technique that during the day, look at your watch, look away, and ask "Am I dreaming?" When you look back, it will probably a second or two later.
When I did this, it came up in my dream. I looked at my watch and then my arm felt like it was unable to let me look at my watch again, as if my arm was so heavy or being held back that I couldn't look at it again. I knew I was dreaming because I couldn't look at my watch again.
The purpose this type of lucidity is to only realize you're dreaming, not to control dreams. Sometimes it's helpful to just know you're dreaming so you can enjoy it.
Hope that helps some people who were wondering about my crazy dreams.
I have a journal next to my bed. It has my regular journal as well as my dream journal on loose pages. I use printer paper (or unline paper). I fold it into threes so that I can write on two thirds and the last third is for comments, drawings, maps, etc. I find maps most amusing because sometimes, the maps are really of places I frequent every day but the symbols and the way it's presented to me are completely different. When I do this, I think I'm genius. It's like decoding a very difficult code and finding it's genius in it's simplicity.
I wake up a little early so that I can write any dreams down. Sometimes it takes a while to remember them. Sometimes I write down the little feelings I have about what I may have dreamt about (this is where I suggest most people begin).
All advice about writing dreams mentions-- write it down as soon as you wake up. Sometimes, in a hurry, I'll write little notes to come back to later. Of course, even if I don't come back to it, I capture the main events.
As time goes on, you'll remember your dreams more often. Then, you can start experimenting.
When I first started keeping a journal, I had a check list of different themes that had come up in my dreams-- such as my dad, my school, my childhood home, my boyfriend, etc. This way, if they came up, I'd just check it off. I also used to write themes on the third colum but I grew bored of that. Now, I mostly use it for notes like things I was thinking about that might have been a reason why I had this person or this happen in my dream. Sometimes I add details that I remembered later on.
There are two things I do on occasion that are fun with dreams:
1. Write down a question before going to bed (this may be about something about your future) and in the morning, write down the dream.
When I was thinking about going to grad school, I wrote down the question, "What's my next step?" The dream was that I was on a train to New Haven. This was so clear that I knew that I had to follow it. I moved from California to Connecticut to attend graduate school.
2. Test out lucidity. There's a technique that during the day, look at your watch, look away, and ask "Am I dreaming?" When you look back, it will probably a second or two later.
When I did this, it came up in my dream. I looked at my watch and then my arm felt like it was unable to let me look at my watch again, as if my arm was so heavy or being held back that I couldn't look at it again. I knew I was dreaming because I couldn't look at my watch again.
The purpose this type of lucidity is to only realize you're dreaming, not to control dreams. Sometimes it's helpful to just know you're dreaming so you can enjoy it.
Hope that helps some people who were wondering about my crazy dreams.
Monday, January 18, 2010
High School Reunion Show
I saw the previews for the next season of a reality show called High School Reunion. For the people who go on there, high school seemed like it was important in their lives and there was a certain dynamic that I don't understand at the moment. I'd say I knew a good amount of people in high school. I knew them from different grades. I had people in the same classes over and over again, like the typical English and maybe some science and math classes. When I look over the lists on facebook of who graduated from my school in the same year, I don't recognize most of them. When I do recognize some of them, it's from seeing them from far away at school. They're not someone who I ever talked to.
So, I started thinking, if I were to go on High School Reunion, who would go with me and start entertaining drama? There were very few people I could think of. There's Matt, an ex, who I had frequent crushes on after we broke up and sometimes I hung around him because we had the same friends. Maybe Austin who was a close friend and he shut me out for a time in high school. When I asked for answers after high school, he had none. Austin is now married and although it's weird for me, I trust that he's with who he loves. He's a passionate person. If Rachel and I hadn't started talking and being friendly, we might have had some words for each other in person but I think that we didn't like each other in high school because we cared about each other and were hurt about things that happened.
As for other people, there are two people I can think of that would be entertaining if they were in the same room. One is my friend Michelle. I won't give the name of the other person because he most likely would be mad. Michelle and this guy were very close. I was also close with this person at times. Michelle and I were close for a time. Then, everyone stopped talking to each other in high school. Michelle and I are on good terms. I saw her when I went back to visit a few years ago and we talked and filled each other in on what happened in those times we weren't talking in high school. But this guy has sent emails to her on social networking sites basically saying he's not going be her friend and not fully explaining the reasons for that. He has also rejected my friend request to him with no explanation. I would ask him what I did as a 15 year old that he's mad about but it's his loss. There's definitely something there but I don't know what it is. It would make for good television if he was confronted.
Maybe it's because I'm still young. Maybe it's because I've forgotten the harsh words said to me or why I was mad at whoever. I'm trying to understand how people in their 30's can hold on to these high school experiences and want to be in a house with people from high school. I question their maturity. As for me, if I were every to go on a show like that, and it would be a big "if," I might not even know the people in the house, nor care about something that happened so long ago.
So, I started thinking, if I were to go on High School Reunion, who would go with me and start entertaining drama? There were very few people I could think of. There's Matt, an ex, who I had frequent crushes on after we broke up and sometimes I hung around him because we had the same friends. Maybe Austin who was a close friend and he shut me out for a time in high school. When I asked for answers after high school, he had none. Austin is now married and although it's weird for me, I trust that he's with who he loves. He's a passionate person. If Rachel and I hadn't started talking and being friendly, we might have had some words for each other in person but I think that we didn't like each other in high school because we cared about each other and were hurt about things that happened.
As for other people, there are two people I can think of that would be entertaining if they were in the same room. One is my friend Michelle. I won't give the name of the other person because he most likely would be mad. Michelle and this guy were very close. I was also close with this person at times. Michelle and I were close for a time. Then, everyone stopped talking to each other in high school. Michelle and I are on good terms. I saw her when I went back to visit a few years ago and we talked and filled each other in on what happened in those times we weren't talking in high school. But this guy has sent emails to her on social networking sites basically saying he's not going be her friend and not fully explaining the reasons for that. He has also rejected my friend request to him with no explanation. I would ask him what I did as a 15 year old that he's mad about but it's his loss. There's definitely something there but I don't know what it is. It would make for good television if he was confronted.
Maybe it's because I'm still young. Maybe it's because I've forgotten the harsh words said to me or why I was mad at whoever. I'm trying to understand how people in their 30's can hold on to these high school experiences and want to be in a house with people from high school. I question their maturity. As for me, if I were every to go on a show like that, and it would be a big "if," I might not even know the people in the house, nor care about something that happened so long ago.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Rec. Therapy and Training
My internship supervisor gave me a little discussion to read about the difference between recreation therapists (which is my current title at my job at the hospital, before I get my masters, then I will be called an art therapist) and art therapists. The discussion was basically that if rec. therapists think they are the same as art therapists, they will ask to be art therapists without the proper training. This got me thinking about two things: one, how much I love the title of rec. therapist; and two, the idea of training and schooling.
First, I love being a rec. therapist. I have a lot of fun. Although art can be anything and therapy can be just about anything, I enjoy that I don't have to bring up art materials all the time. I can bring up the materials to make no-sew pillows or other little projects. While this is a craft, I can see that these are transitional objects and that they can really give the client a sense of achievement. I can also bring up a white board and play "Wheel of Fortune" or Pictionary. In the past, these have been very beneficial to clients in challenging their mind and getting their thoughts off of whatever is going on in their life or the hospital. With the children, I have also gotten little tubs of water that are good for getting kids to get their hands wet and play a little bit. I also have books about drama techniques. Most of my seasoned coworkers come to me for tips and ideas because they know I'm full of them. I like feeling unrestrained by materials.
Second, the idea of schooling and training. Although I agree that some training and oversight is necessary, there are lots of people who just know things and are good at what they do. The beginnings of therapy started with Freud being interested in what was on the mind of middle and upper class women from Vienna. After that, to be a psychoanalyst, people had to be in analysis for 6 years and then they'd be able to take the techniques and apply them to their clients. However, now that there are standards, which can be a good and bad thing, people often learn about only certain types of theories or they learn things for a test and then cannot apply it to their clients, etc. This has happened to me and others. I am encouraged to take a test to get my LPC (Licensed Practicing Counselor) so that insurance can bill me. The LPC test is a lot of money, the book to study in a lot of money, and I won't be tested on much that I learned in school. Also, after taken some practice questions recently, the test just seems to want to trick people into answers. Basically, the people who made it want people to think with their ninja mind. And after this test, whose to say that any of it applies to what I'm doing at the hospital or where ever I am. Sometimes I'm glad that there are standards, however, that still doesn't mean that a therapist is good, that they know what they're doing, or anything like that. It means that they can jump through hoops and take some tests. Yet, there are people with natural gifts that Iwish I could hone in on and they don't have degrees due to whatever circumstances.
I'm glad I was sparked to think about these things by a woman being passive aggressive. I do enjoy my job and I enjoy school. I don't think those things are going to make me a professional. I think job experience and having morals and ethics will help me become a good therapist.
First, I love being a rec. therapist. I have a lot of fun. Although art can be anything and therapy can be just about anything, I enjoy that I don't have to bring up art materials all the time. I can bring up the materials to make no-sew pillows or other little projects. While this is a craft, I can see that these are transitional objects and that they can really give the client a sense of achievement. I can also bring up a white board and play "Wheel of Fortune" or Pictionary. In the past, these have been very beneficial to clients in challenging their mind and getting their thoughts off of whatever is going on in their life or the hospital. With the children, I have also gotten little tubs of water that are good for getting kids to get their hands wet and play a little bit. I also have books about drama techniques. Most of my seasoned coworkers come to me for tips and ideas because they know I'm full of them. I like feeling unrestrained by materials.
Second, the idea of schooling and training. Although I agree that some training and oversight is necessary, there are lots of people who just know things and are good at what they do. The beginnings of therapy started with Freud being interested in what was on the mind of middle and upper class women from Vienna. After that, to be a psychoanalyst, people had to be in analysis for 6 years and then they'd be able to take the techniques and apply them to their clients. However, now that there are standards, which can be a good and bad thing, people often learn about only certain types of theories or they learn things for a test and then cannot apply it to their clients, etc. This has happened to me and others. I am encouraged to take a test to get my LPC (Licensed Practicing Counselor) so that insurance can bill me. The LPC test is a lot of money, the book to study in a lot of money, and I won't be tested on much that I learned in school. Also, after taken some practice questions recently, the test just seems to want to trick people into answers. Basically, the people who made it want people to think with their ninja mind. And after this test, whose to say that any of it applies to what I'm doing at the hospital or where ever I am. Sometimes I'm glad that there are standards, however, that still doesn't mean that a therapist is good, that they know what they're doing, or anything like that. It means that they can jump through hoops and take some tests. Yet, there are people with natural gifts that Iwish I could hone in on and they don't have degrees due to whatever circumstances.
I'm glad I was sparked to think about these things by a woman being passive aggressive. I do enjoy my job and I enjoy school. I don't think those things are going to make me a professional. I think job experience and having morals and ethics will help me become a good therapist.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Art Therapy is not a Mystical, Magical Thing. It's not Mind Reading.
I was thinking today about an incident that happened to me. This woman came up to me after my group and after she had had a visit with a patient and asked me what the patient's drawing meant. She wanted to know what it would all mean. I told her the only thing I could tell her was that the patient was quiet when she was coloring it in. The woman had taken a class in art therapy and she had a dictionary about color so she was going to go home and look it up. I didn't say anymore about it. My thoughts went to the reasons why looking up colors that she used is not a good idea.
Some people think that art therapy, or that therapy in general, is really mind reading. We'll tell people things that they're thinking or going through or just know things that they don't want other to know.Some people think that therapist will know things that the client doesn't know about themselves. And if we get mad at a client, we'll use our powers for bad things. People might think that art therapy is more like mind reading than talk therapy because some people have symbols in their artwork and a client might think that a symbol can be interpreted as something else instead of what it means to them.
It doesn't help that there are dictionaries about color or books that basically say, "If you draw this, it means this other thing." But my point is that therapy is not like this. An art therapist should not start telling a client that using red and black most definitely means the person is depressed. It matters about behaviors. It matters about what the person says about the artwork. If a person is using a lot of black and red because that was the colors of their high school football team or because they really like tomatoes with pepper, and on top of that, client doesn't act depressed, then that theory doesn't apply to them.
Art therapy is about what the client says about the artwork. And each therapist has their own theory. For example: I'm a Feminist Jungian type of therapist. I think that people have patterns of behavior that repeat in their life until they notice them and choose to stop them. Societal expectations and gender roles hold people back from pursuing what they want or being the type of people they would like to be. If something's on a person's mind, it will come out whether I ask questions about it or not. For artwork, I like to ask people questions like "If your artwork were a type of music, what type of music would it be?" or "If your artwork was a type of food, what type of food would it be?" I don't ask "why," or "what inspired you to make that?" because the answer most likely is going to be "because I felt like it" (that would most likely be my answer). People don't have to be realistic in their artwork for it to be expressive. And they're not coming to me for me to be an art teacher to them. For my personal self, I like there to be a question or a memory I have in mind while doing the artwork or a "directive" to the art because I get to know more about myself that way. But in practice, I mostly let people choose what art materials they would like to use. I do this because it's probably been a while since people have done art and they just have to experiment with the art materials.
Freudian, humanistic, and behavioral art therapists would most likely practice a lot differently. Some might use more directives. Also, art therapist can choose the medium or style they'd like to use, such as comic books style, clay, photography, graffiti, and others. Some art therapists are more about what symbols a person used and not what the person said about the artwork. But they are trained so that they are not impeding a person's personal growth, assuming that's why they're coming to therapy.
So, therapy is not mind reading. Therapists don't tell you things about yourself that you wouldn't know about yourself. And they don't tell you things that you don't know about yourself. Also, art therapists have different styles, however, it's supposed to help in your art and growth.
Some people think that art therapy, or that therapy in general, is really mind reading. We'll tell people things that they're thinking or going through or just know things that they don't want other to know.Some people think that therapist will know things that the client doesn't know about themselves. And if we get mad at a client, we'll use our powers for bad things. People might think that art therapy is more like mind reading than talk therapy because some people have symbols in their artwork and a client might think that a symbol can be interpreted as something else instead of what it means to them.
It doesn't help that there are dictionaries about color or books that basically say, "If you draw this, it means this other thing." But my point is that therapy is not like this. An art therapist should not start telling a client that using red and black most definitely means the person is depressed. It matters about behaviors. It matters about what the person says about the artwork. If a person is using a lot of black and red because that was the colors of their high school football team or because they really like tomatoes with pepper, and on top of that, client doesn't act depressed, then that theory doesn't apply to them.
Art therapy is about what the client says about the artwork. And each therapist has their own theory. For example: I'm a Feminist Jungian type of therapist. I think that people have patterns of behavior that repeat in their life until they notice them and choose to stop them. Societal expectations and gender roles hold people back from pursuing what they want or being the type of people they would like to be. If something's on a person's mind, it will come out whether I ask questions about it or not. For artwork, I like to ask people questions like "If your artwork were a type of music, what type of music would it be?" or "If your artwork was a type of food, what type of food would it be?" I don't ask "why," or "what inspired you to make that?" because the answer most likely is going to be "because I felt like it" (that would most likely be my answer). People don't have to be realistic in their artwork for it to be expressive. And they're not coming to me for me to be an art teacher to them. For my personal self, I like there to be a question or a memory I have in mind while doing the artwork or a "directive" to the art because I get to know more about myself that way. But in practice, I mostly let people choose what art materials they would like to use. I do this because it's probably been a while since people have done art and they just have to experiment with the art materials.
Freudian, humanistic, and behavioral art therapists would most likely practice a lot differently. Some might use more directives. Also, art therapist can choose the medium or style they'd like to use, such as comic books style, clay, photography, graffiti, and others. Some art therapists are more about what symbols a person used and not what the person said about the artwork. But they are trained so that they are not impeding a person's personal growth, assuming that's why they're coming to therapy.
So, therapy is not mind reading. Therapists don't tell you things about yourself that you wouldn't know about yourself. And they don't tell you things that you don't know about yourself. Also, art therapists have different styles, however, it's supposed to help in your art and growth.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I'm Not An Art Teacher
I'm not an art teacher. I'm studying to be an art therapist. I know that traditionally, people take art classes and want to learn techniques to make their drawings look more realistic. When's the last time anyone took a painting course in how to make things look surreal? I'm sure they're out there but I don't know much interest in them, other than people already in the art community.
I'm studying to be an art therapist. There are some art therapists who were artists first and they are trained traditionally. My internship supervisor is one of these art therapists. There is much conflict already between art therapists and their titles. Art therapists fight to not be called the arts and crafts lady or the art lady. We try to not be just artists or just therapists.
My internship supervisor suggested, as she has before, that I take an art class. In the past, this has really pissed me off. I did a piece I wasn't happy about and then she told me that I needed to take a human figure drawing class to improve. I didn't do it. So, now, here she is again. She's waiting to see my human figures and the way I draw.
Since joining the art therapy program, I have become more expressive. At first, this caused a lot of anxiety. I had been taught traditionally. And anything outside of picture perfect was "weird" or "outsider" art. But as I've learned to express myself and enjoy using art materials, I have been less strict with myself about making anything traditional.
In the past year, I've worked as a recreation therapist assistant (it's just a title, I actually run art activities in a therapeutic session and without my license, at this point, it's NOT art therapy). In the past year, I've maybe been around one or two people who liked their artwork to be perfect and traditional. If they are, though, they usually are in a class. But a majority of people I've seen don't mind a little doodle here or a word or two here. They even like coloring pages. I also bring a lot of collage materials. I think collage is good for people who are too anxious to draw and have it be like a picture.
I resent my supervisor, though, for suggesting an art class. The first time, I wanted to pull out past art projects and show to her that I could do it. But I didn't. I just festered and sat with my anger. Now that I have an awesome professor who I can talk to about the issues in internship, I feel that I can change the angry energy into something else and not let it get to me so much.
Yes, she believes that an art therapists should demonstrate to her that they have art skills. This is a lot of pressure that I don't want to deal with. Yes, I do have these skills. And no, I'm not going to share them with her because it's better if I just do my thing and not worry about how she (or others) might judge me.
Only one or two people who I've worked with in the art activities wanted to have something perfect. I think they wanted me to draw a star. I wouldn't and said I didn't know how. And they've said, "How are you going to be an art therapist if you can't even draw a star?" While it's a low blow, I don't think my art therapy license will ever depend on me knowing how to draw a star. I often encourage the clients to do their own artwork, no matter if they like it or not, because eventually, they do like it. They do get a sense of achievement. I don't want to take that away (and I'm not going to draw stars either!).
Vanessa
I'm studying to be an art therapist. There are some art therapists who were artists first and they are trained traditionally. My internship supervisor is one of these art therapists. There is much conflict already between art therapists and their titles. Art therapists fight to not be called the arts and crafts lady or the art lady. We try to not be just artists or just therapists.
My internship supervisor suggested, as she has before, that I take an art class. In the past, this has really pissed me off. I did a piece I wasn't happy about and then she told me that I needed to take a human figure drawing class to improve. I didn't do it. So, now, here she is again. She's waiting to see my human figures and the way I draw.
Since joining the art therapy program, I have become more expressive. At first, this caused a lot of anxiety. I had been taught traditionally. And anything outside of picture perfect was "weird" or "outsider" art. But as I've learned to express myself and enjoy using art materials, I have been less strict with myself about making anything traditional.
In the past year, I've worked as a recreation therapist assistant (it's just a title, I actually run art activities in a therapeutic session and without my license, at this point, it's NOT art therapy). In the past year, I've maybe been around one or two people who liked their artwork to be perfect and traditional. If they are, though, they usually are in a class. But a majority of people I've seen don't mind a little doodle here or a word or two here. They even like coloring pages. I also bring a lot of collage materials. I think collage is good for people who are too anxious to draw and have it be like a picture.
I resent my supervisor, though, for suggesting an art class. The first time, I wanted to pull out past art projects and show to her that I could do it. But I didn't. I just festered and sat with my anger. Now that I have an awesome professor who I can talk to about the issues in internship, I feel that I can change the angry energy into something else and not let it get to me so much.
Yes, she believes that an art therapists should demonstrate to her that they have art skills. This is a lot of pressure that I don't want to deal with. Yes, I do have these skills. And no, I'm not going to share them with her because it's better if I just do my thing and not worry about how she (or others) might judge me.
Only one or two people who I've worked with in the art activities wanted to have something perfect. I think they wanted me to draw a star. I wouldn't and said I didn't know how. And they've said, "How are you going to be an art therapist if you can't even draw a star?" While it's a low blow, I don't think my art therapy license will ever depend on me knowing how to draw a star. I often encourage the clients to do their own artwork, no matter if they like it or not, because eventually, they do like it. They do get a sense of achievement. I don't want to take that away (and I'm not going to draw stars either!).
Vanessa
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