Spells, Witchcraft, and Its Effects

I had a dream last night where someone told me that there was a love spell on me. I believe it. I put two and two together because an ex friend had told me, when we were friends, that he did tarot online. It was also no secret that he had a huge crush on me and often told me he loved me. While it's going to be difficult to confront him about this, it got me thinking about the time I used witchcraft and spells.
I was about 12 when the movie, "The Craft," came out. It's about 4 teenage witches and the trouble that ensues after they decide to invoke the spirits and get revenge on the people who've made them upset. After this movie, I went to a store in Berkeley and bought my first witchcraft book. It seemed pretty good for my first book-- lots of traditions, chants, celebrating of certain saint days, etc. I remember the bookstore owner saying something to the effect that witchcraft books have been flying off the shelves because of the movie. My neighbor, Diana, her cousin, Sarah, and I all tried some things like candle magic, burning things to see what happens (hair of people we don't like, cloth of people we don't like, paper with the names of the people who made us upset, etc). We liked to think we were very powerful witches.
I had lent my book out a few times. The two people said it was weak and that it shouldn't be lent out. I'm glad it didn't go farther than that.
What I remembered most of all were two spells. There was one for love and there was one for silence. The one for love was used mostly to attract my ex who I thought was the end all and be all. But upon reflection, he may have liked me but he didn't pine for me the way that he pined for two girls in his life. I may have just been someone cool to be around because we liked each other.
The other one was for silence. I knew some people who were gossips and they were mean. They would constantly say things and start rumors just to get people upset. I put a few silencing spells on them. But for the most part, they worked on me. I spent many years quiet, depressed. I blame myself for those spells and their consequences.
While I did start at a young age and had the potential to become a strong witch, I knew that I didn't want to be in that world. It was nice to dapple in it. I definitely have a respect for it.

Just a few years ago, one of my psychic friends came to me and asked me if I put a spell on him. While occasionally, I had a crush on him, it wasn't strong enough to even think of a spell to put on him. I relayed the story about my spellcasting and he knew it was true. It turns out, it was one of my close psychic friends who was going through a nasty divorce-- she put the spell on him. I still harbor some resentment against her from what she did. But also, I knew (and didn't tell her) that she was going to have a miscarriage because she had messed around with spells. She text messaged me throughout the whole ordeal of the miscarriage. She was looking forward to this child and was devastated when she had a miscarriage. I knew I wasn't to blame because I had asked others if they had visioned the same thing and they knew my reasoning for not telling her. Spells have too many consequences at my age or her age.

I think witchcraft is something to try when a person is young and can do stupid stuff. It seems like the consequences are minimal. But as a person ages and they want to try to get into spells or withcraft, it's an energy that has to be respected. If not, it can have some major consquences. I don't know what is going to happen to my friend but he's messed with some things that are going to cause major problems in his future. He's gotten things off balance and it might be a steep price to restore balance.

Sexuality and Societal Messages

After reading The Heart and Soul of Sex by Gina Ogden I've been open to new ideas about what is considered sexuality and the messages media passes along. Traditional sexuality focuses on performance. It's about blood flow, physical responses, and orgasm. It also considered to be between only a man and woman and most likely only in missionary position after marriage. This seems like a narrow definition.
But there are a lot more things to consider about sexuality, such as emotional aspects, our thoughts and values about sex, spiritual aspects and I'm not just talking about what religion tells people about sex but also the difference between making love and having sex. There is the physical side but it goes along with the other three areas. Also, there are many ways to be sexual and with whomever you choose. This is all what Ogden, a sex therapist, addresses in this book.
I started noticing little things here and there about what our culture thinks sex is. One incident that I talked about with some coworkers was that of a patient. This patient is uncomfortable with his sexuality and wants to not be gay. He was uncomfortable being around men. Basically, his family said that he could not be gay because he would go to Hell. He does have obsessive thoughts and wants to be perfect. Given that he has these messages to not be gay and he wants to be perfect, he has a great amount of anxiety about who he is. This was one incident I had noticed.
Then, I saw the video for "Rude Boy." I had not heard this song before and was quite shocked by the message. It was another message of focusing on the physical aspect of sex. The song has lyrics about a man whose considered a "rude boy" and the female singer asking if he can get an erection and if he's "big enough." She repeats "Take it," which Anna Marie on Feministing.com noted relates to possible sexual violence and devalues the experiences of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence that men have to endured.
"Can you get it up?" is not a new message. It has previously been seen in advertisements for Viagra. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue, however, sometimes it seems that the emotional aspect of sex has been ignored because there's a pill to increase blood flow. The pill doesn't care if the man has a caring partner where there is open communication. Nor does this pill care if there's stress in the man or couple's lives. It's simple increases blood flow so he can maintain an erection. Some messages from society ignore the emotional aspect of sex, focusing only on the physical aspects.
It's a good idea to take into account that not all of the messages about sex are the ones we have to accept. Everyone has their own values and morals. If the traditional way of looking at sex is how the one that a person wants to adopt and it fits their life, then what's the harm? However, there are people who are harmed by these values as their own, as we've seen with the guy who was uncomfortable with his sexual orientation, then a person might want to reconsider their morals and values about sex.