Sexuality and Societal Messages

After reading The Heart and Soul of Sex by Gina Ogden I've been open to new ideas about what is considered sexuality and the messages media passes along. Traditional sexuality focuses on performance. It's about blood flow, physical responses, and orgasm. It also considered to be between only a man and woman and most likely only in missionary position after marriage. This seems like a narrow definition.
But there are a lot more things to consider about sexuality, such as emotional aspects, our thoughts and values about sex, spiritual aspects and I'm not just talking about what religion tells people about sex but also the difference between making love and having sex. There is the physical side but it goes along with the other three areas. Also, there are many ways to be sexual and with whomever you choose. This is all what Ogden, a sex therapist, addresses in this book.
I started noticing little things here and there about what our culture thinks sex is. One incident that I talked about with some coworkers was that of a patient. This patient is uncomfortable with his sexuality and wants to not be gay. He was uncomfortable being around men. Basically, his family said that he could not be gay because he would go to Hell. He does have obsessive thoughts and wants to be perfect. Given that he has these messages to not be gay and he wants to be perfect, he has a great amount of anxiety about who he is. This was one incident I had noticed.
Then, I saw the video for "Rude Boy." I had not heard this song before and was quite shocked by the message. It was another message of focusing on the physical aspect of sex. The song has lyrics about a man whose considered a "rude boy" and the female singer asking if he can get an erection and if he's "big enough." She repeats "Take it," which Anna Marie on Feministing.com noted relates to possible sexual violence and devalues the experiences of rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence that men have to endured.
"Can you get it up?" is not a new message. It has previously been seen in advertisements for Viagra. Erectile dysfunction is a serious issue, however, sometimes it seems that the emotional aspect of sex has been ignored because there's a pill to increase blood flow. The pill doesn't care if the man has a caring partner where there is open communication. Nor does this pill care if there's stress in the man or couple's lives. It's simple increases blood flow so he can maintain an erection. Some messages from society ignore the emotional aspect of sex, focusing only on the physical aspects.
It's a good idea to take into account that not all of the messages about sex are the ones we have to accept. Everyone has their own values and morals. If the traditional way of looking at sex is how the one that a person wants to adopt and it fits their life, then what's the harm? However, there are people who are harmed by these values as their own, as we've seen with the guy who was uncomfortable with his sexual orientation, then a person might want to reconsider their morals and values about sex.